HOW TO LIVE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD 

Relationship with God is based on our right standing with him which is life of obedience to God in his will and to his commandments. It entails imitating God in his virtues, and communicating with him in prayers, by studying the scriptures, reading holy books and engaging in Church activities, all of which help us to grow in faith and love for God.

Relationship with God is a life of loving God and pleasing him. It is manifested in the way we feel and behave towards God in order to connect well with him in terms of love, faith and hope among others.

The questions we have to ask ourselves then are: do we feel love for God; do we know the extent God loves us?, do we behave towards God as people that love him; how is God feeling about you and I, and how do you and I behave towards God in returning him love.

When we are in relationship with God, we are also his friends since ‘two cannot walk together unless they agree’ (Amos 3:3). Therefore, there are some steps that if taken and made regular, will help us live in good relationship with God. The steps are methods that help us cultivate bond of friendship with God. They connect us and keep us close to God. The steps among others are

1. Genuine Repentance

Living in relationship with God demands having a clean heart which gives room for easy communication with him

There is nothing that God hates so much than obstinacy in sin, being stubborn and gallivanting in sin and taking the mercy of God for granted. It is important to know that once a person feels disconnected from grace, he/she shall humble himself/herself and ask God for forgiveness with a resolution to keep pleasing him in future. It does not matter if the person makes another unintended mistake again since we are all imperfect human beings, as long as the person goes back in genuine repentance to ask God for forgiveness because God is never tired of forgiving our weaknesses provided they are not deliberate. The scripture has made us know about this forgiving nature of our God and Father when it said in Ps. 103:12-14(RSV), “as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children so the Lord pities those who fear him.  For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust”. So there is need for constant repentance of our sins in order to be in good relationship with God. A child who never tells his father that he is sorry when he offends is a disobedient and stubborn child and of course, cannot be his father’s favorite.

2. Realizing Whom You Are

It is important that one first knows whom he/she is in order to help him be in relationship with God, that he is an imperfect human being, a person who without God’s grace is capable of any atrocity and so must always depend on the graces of God. This entails knowing your weaknesses and strengths and fighting against your weaknesses.

Because of our differences in temperaments, people are beset with many kinds of weaknesses that make them sin. There are sins some people find very difficult to resist which may not be a problem to others. An example is the sin of anger because in James 1:20 the scripture said : “Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God”. Personally, I was guilty of this sin of anger because when I was hurt and angry, I would let you know instantly without hiding or pretending that I was angry and not happy with you but the anger would cool off there and then. So I lacked diplomacy when I was angry and I saw this as a great impediment because it shows lack of self-control. Therefore I kept fighting against it by asking God for his grace against the irritation and impatient I felt when hurt which do lead to my anger. By his grace, which is sufficient, the Holy Spirit has stepped in, helping me to surmount it to a very great extent if not completely already done with as I observe.

There may be other weaknesses that hold people captive as individuals which must be done away with because they block our relationship with God. These weaknesses which are sins must be surrendered to God in serious prayers, asking him always to help us overcome them through the power of his Holy Spirit. With serious efforts and determination on our paths to forsake them, God helps us to do though sometimes it does take time because in my case, it took quite some time in spite of my prayers that, at a time I wondered why God decided not to respond quickly to my prayer that will help me live more to please him. But the delay made me discover that God wanted me to struggling with it in order to show me how imperfect I am without his help and grace, and to always humble myself and rely on him for any virtue and I was grateful. It is therefore important that we reject our sins and be determined to forsake them. We must not use them as protection or defense as is with the case when we resort to anger and defend ourselves instead of acknowledging them.

The truth is that if the seriousness is there and the Lord sees how loathsome we feel about our sin, he will give us the power and grace to forsake them because it is not in the power of man to do good. Saint Paul demonstrated this when he said in Romans 7: 19 -20 “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me”.

So by nature sin dwells in us. But the power of Christ will help us overcome sin. In verse 24 he continued, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? [ because we are responsible for the sins we commit since we welcome them ] Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”.

We should therefore decide not to live in self-will, using your weaknesses as weapon of protection or defense. We should own up when you are wrong or in sin, and hasten to make amendment to help restore the relationship and friendship with God whose eyes cannot behold iniquities though he loves sinners.

3. Not Resisting God’s Inspirations.

God sees everything clearly without eye glasses. He knows what is best for you and I, but we see in passing and with mirror, thinking that we see clearly. This mindset is what makes us self-willed in our decisions which though may not be right and approved by God but are clung to because we are right in our own eyes. We need to be open to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and the good council of genuine people that help us do right for us to keep living in relationship with God.

Therefore, anyone who wants to be in relationship with God shall first be determined not to resist God in his inspirations of grace but to obey that silent voice within him; that silent voice that tells you to make a good choice between two things when you meet challenges or to make a good decision between good and bad ones. So be determined to listen to the good spirit, and if you made a mistake, quickly be sorry with your whole heart and ask God for forgiveness and for the grace to be faithful. Be firm in your resolution and efforts to obey God’s commandments and you shall live in good relationship with him.

Many people are simply blind to how sins offend God’s infinite majesty. Many are not sensitive of the righteous nature of God, how he wants us to resemble him very closely; how he hates sins though he loves us sinners. We shall remember that the mercy of God is only available to us while we are alive and ends at death, when God’s justice takes over to reward every one for every act done in the flesh. See how sudden and unprepared many people cross over to eternity. Let us therefore be determined to be in good relationship with the Lord.

4. Resisting Pride and Doing Everything out of Purity of Intention

Pride is the chain with which Satan holds a lot of people captive because he lost paradise by pride. It is therefore important to resist pride in all its ramifications. God hates pride and never fails to punish it as was the case with Saul in the scripture.  We shall therefore resist pride in everything we do because pride leads to many other sins.

Wickedness is evil. So let us learn how to do everything with purity of intention. We shall always examine the motive behind every action which is to glorify God and for the good of others. Keeping this before us will help us fulfill God’s summarized commandments which are to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbor as well.

We should avoid greediness and taking advantages of others which is selfishness. One who is greedy and selfish has both jealous spirit and pride which he can’t let go. These cannot co – inhabit with the selfless and meek spirit of God. We shall ask God for this virtue of selflessness if we don’t have it; the spirit that helps us to seek for the good of others at each point in time and not only for our own; a virtue the Lord treasures so much, which helps us live in relationship with him.

5. Not Neglecting Prayer

Prayer is the key for our spiritual growth and a very important instrument for communicating with God. You cannot build a bond with somebody you stay apart from and don’t communicate with since you might not have understood that person’s desires, likes and dislikes in order to please him and so be in friendship and good relationship with him. The same is with our God.

Prayer is important because in prayer, God listens to us, instructs, corrects, directs and inspires us on what to do and the good he wants us to do. Prayer opens our spiritual eyes, energizes us and equips us for the day’s tasks.

The first thing one ought to do in the morning is to commit the day to the Lord, not only for his protection and care but for the grace to live the day to glorifying God; asking him to sanctify every act of the day for him in order to give him honor and glory; and then going ahead to live each day in the Lord’s presence by taking Jesus along every act. This helps us to live daily in the Lord’s presence and in relationship with him as friends who would then hear when he speaks to them to direct or inspire them to good acts.

Without prayer, we cannot be good children of God because we shall be living on our own and accidental lives filled with risks of whatever the day would bring, whether good or bad physically and spiritually. Prayer offers us maximum security since our day is committed to God who lives it out for us.

When we commit ourselves to God and live in his presence, his promises in Ps 91 become ours for he has given his angels charge of us to guard us lest we strike our feet against a stone because we live in his presence and in his shelter.

6. Forgiving Injuries.

It is important to forgive every wrong done to us no matter the gravity because as the word of God said in the Lord’s Prayer, we must forgive so that our own sins may be forgiven us.

In Mt. 6:14 -16, the Lord said: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”.

Who is so holy as not to have had any sin to be forgiven by God? Most cases we want God to forgive us but our hearts are bitter in forgiving. It is only prayer and grace that will melt them, hence the need to always ask God for help when we can’t forgive and he will be happy giving us his forgiving spirit which is his nature. Many pious Christians may go to hell because of the sin of unforgiveness. Watch it.

Sometimes a wrong might be done to you that whenever you remember it, you feel very bad, hurt, angry or even bitter. That shows you have not forgiven that wrong, and you may want to retaliate. If you find yourself in that situation, ask the Holy Spirit to help you forgive. This is the way I solve the problem of hurts that want to poison my spirit. When I do this, I see grace coming quickly to my aid because the weight of injury the hurt imposes won’t be there anymore.

Lack of forgiveness hinders answers to prayer, blocks blessings and deprives one of interior peace and joy. In fact, it imprisons a person and opens the door for the enemy to enter and occupy also, filling the person with bitterness while holding the person in bondage.

If you find it difficult to forgive or are bearing grudges, please ask God to give you the spirit of forgiveness as a gift. It is not only for forgiveness anyway but for any sin we find ourselves in; we need to ask for the right spirit to overcome it. For instance, if you are such that are jealous over the good coming to other people; spirit of jealousy and greed because they are much in many people, or spirit of hatred, or any other bad spirit, keep asking God to give you the opposite right spirit of his to conquer it until he does so. This is what I do. In fighting the spirit of irritation and anger in certain occasions in my life, I constantly asked the Lord to give me the spirit of meekness as a gift because a meek person does not know when he is offended and even if he knew, he won’t take it as anything. I kept asking for virtues as gifts which shall be permanent with confidence because there are other gifts of virtue I had asked God which he had given me in excess that people remark about them, making me remember when I asked for such gifts for which I am very grateful, my weaknesses being many.

So do not harbor evil in your heart for whatever reason. It opens the doorway to the enemy and seriously blocks our friendship and relationship with God.

But forgiveness will help us connect with God easily. When you don’t forgive, you find a lot of distractions during prayer because when you attempt to pray, the spirit that is not at peace will be wondering, searching and trying to make you arrive at making amends before you continue praying since the spirit is obstructed. This is one of the reasons why many people have distractions in prayer.

Therefore forgiveness is very important for being in relationship with God so that our prayers may flow and be answered. These are the reasons why the Lord said in Mk 11:25, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses”

Forgiveness also opens our way of relationship with the Holy Spirit who hates hardness of heart in us.

7. Have Time to Read the Word

Having time to study the Word of God is a fast way of our spiritual growth because in the Word, God speaks to us. The whole thing about God in his wisdom is revealed in the scripture. Hence in 2Tim 3:16, the Word says: “All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work”. This shows us that constant reading and meditation on the scripture will help us to grow in sound mind and body and in relationship with God. It is because people neglect knowing exactly what is in the Word that faith is lose to the extent that many doubt and question the existence of God, his Christ and God’s faithfulness.

Reading the scripture daily helps us quickly grow in sound mind. As a matter of fact, this is the first step we ought to start with to help us see ourselves the way we are. I mean reading to connect with God and to grow in the spirit, and not reading to fight the Church, to deceive people or to show the ability to quote scriptures which will not have any effect on our spiritual growth and relationship with God.

8. Meditating on God’s Attributes and on His Word

Constant meditation on God’s attributes as God, and on his Word draws us closer to finding the true nature of God in his holiness, faithfulness and love among others. This helps us to desire to love God more and improve our relationship with him in order to correspond to his love. Meditation will help to fill our hearts with gratitude as we discover whom God is in goodness.

9. Taking the Shield of Faith, and Gratitude

We must have an unshakeable faith, trust and confidence in God for whom he is and are in order to be in relationship with him. The scripture said that without faith, it will be impossible to please God because whoever that would draw near to God must believe that he exists and rewards those that seek him (Heb. 11: 6).

Faith is a concrete trust on God, in his power and wisdom. I asked this of God as a gift at the early stage of my spiritual journey, when I discovered that I was always filled with doubt when praying. Then, God gave it to me as a gift and I thank him because I knew when he did it. Since then, my prayers were never again filled with doubts.

God is happy when we ask for gifts that will allow us to grow in love for him.

To also grow in relationship with God, we need to have the spirit of gratitude, constantly appreciating God for whom he is and are in our lives; for his mercies, love, care, protection, provisions and all. For without his goodness, we won’t be seeing any atom of good. This is very important and necessary to make God happy with us. God hates grumbling and complaining hearts. Remember that was the reason why the journey of the Israelites was extended from forty days to forty years. They murmured as if God does not care about them. But the scripture says: “Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

When we don’t have the spirit of gratitude, despite the sermons we hear in the Church and our feelings of closeness to God, we do not please God and are also not close to him in spit of our Church’s involvements since we don’t see God the way he is as a loving and caring Father, but would keep on complaining. God understands our needs and predicaments. He may allow us to be in them for testing our patience or for understanding of him or to humble us before he blesses us. In Deu. 8:2, the scripture says,: “…the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you, to know was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments, or not”. The purpose is so that he shall do you good at the end.

Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God.

10. Connecting with God in the Eucharist

It is important to connect with God daily, if possible, in the Eucharist, which is the sacrament of Christ’s love, and in the state of grace. This is a sure way to establishing our relationship with God.

The reception of the Eucharist in the state of grace constantly unites us with Christ, draws us closer to God, increases life of grace in us which helps us live more in the nature of God even as It shields us against the darts of the enemy. Connecting with Christ in the Eucharist both in reception and in adoration is a fast lather for our spiritual growth and security; a special way that helps us to be in relationship with God.

11. Living the Life of the Eucharist

Life of the Eucharist is a life of sacrifice for the good of the others. Our relationship with God improves when we live a life of compassion for others just as Christ did. When we are conscious that in people we see God, we shall be treating others as we would treat God, doing things for them as to God because God is in people. It is in people that we actually see God. So we simply please God the way we treat each other because nobody can see God as to give him that special treatment of love if not in human beings he sees. If we understand this, we shall go a long way loving God more and being in relationship with him through the people we see. This helps us to live more of the Eucharistic life.

12. Connect with the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary

The intercession of the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ cannot be overlooked because, being in union of will with her son, she is always there praying for us, for graces that will help us make heaven at last. Her love for us is unquantifiable, and she is very concerned about the welfare of her children who are co – heirs with Christ. Her intercession for us, as she always wants to form us for God, can never be in vain. Just for her asking, Christ turned water into wine for the good of the groom during the wedding at Cana even when she was not sought. She had to intervene to spare the groom the disgrace of sudden shortage of wine. Because she is always united in will with her son who came and died for our salvation and to do us good at every point in time, the Blessed Mother’s intercession obtains us the grace to always be in unique relationship with her son through life that glorifies God if we run to her for help.

13. Being Active in Christian Activities

One needs to grow in faith by going to Church and associating with brethren in Church programs for one’s spiritual growth because iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another ( Proverb 27:17). Communal life of interaction for children of God is important for supporting each other in spiritual journey since this helps to build and strengthen each other’s relationship with God. This cannot be neglected.

14 Doing Conscious Examine Each Day.

There is need to do conscious examine each day on how one lived the day in God, whether the day was live in the Lord’s or not. For one already living in relationship with God, this is done subconsciously at every period during the acts of the day because one is living in the presence of the Lord and the spirit is there to guide and direct and to convict instantly when one makes a mistake by deviating or resisting God’s will. This is possible because the person is taking God alone in each day’s activity.

However, the general examine is better done before bed time on how one lived the day. This will direct our attention to the things we did well for God and to where we erred. This helps one to take decision on how to improve the next day.

There is this adage that said that life not examined is not worth living for since lack of examination of conscience hinders spiritual progress because it makes a person to justify himself always as being righteous even when in sin, not caring to find out how he offends God and fellow human beings.

 Conclusion

God expects all his children to live in relationship with him. Relationship with God is a higher level of friendship with him since there is commitment to living life that honors and glorifies God which is achieved through life of holiness communication and proper disposition of heart.