BEING IN GENUINE RELATIONSHIP

BEING IN GENUINE RELATIONSHIP 

Seeing relationship as a bond between two persons as friends, and genuine relationship as the existence of love, trust, understanding and commitment to supporting each other’s well-being, it is clear that before one can obtain a real favor from anybody, it is expected that the person shall be somehow in good relationship with that person from whom he expects the favor. The tie of the relationship definitely quickens the reception of the favor if indeed the two are real friends because people in relationship must be friends also.

This may be contrary in a situation where the two are not real friends, that is, if one person loathes the attitude of another. In that case, it might not be simply possible to obtain a favor just for the asking as in the case of two good friends unless the favor is granted based on the goodness of heart and generously level of the one from whom the favor is sought. In the world’s standard of today, many a time, except for people with very kind heart; people that have the mind of Christ and know that in people they see God, and so do things for them for the sake of God, people do not do real good to others except only if they are their friends or are people they know because of their tie of friendship with them since they expect them to reciprocate when they themselves are in need too.

However, this is not the nature of God anyway who loves all his children equally and unconditionally. The scripture said in Matthew 5: 45 (RSV) “for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust”. So the help between two genuine friends cannot be underestimated while the contrary maybe the case between two unreliable and non-committed friends as highlighted in the scripture which says: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin” (Prov.18:24 New International version (NIV). This is because not only will one with unreliable friends be betrayed, but in time of needs, only real and committed friends shall be there for you. “…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverb 18: 24b). Therefore for a relationship to last, it must be based on mutual respect, love, trust and commitment to each other. Anything short of that may bring about the collapse of the relationship.

The same applies when we are in relationship with God who then becomes our friend, confidant and benefactor. We need to return him love, trust, respect and surrender to his will without which our relationship with him may not be like that between friends and will collapse equally.

However, God does not do good only to his obedient children, to those that fear him and are his friends for his mercy is eternal, lasts as long as one is alive and ends at death when his justice takes over.  But many evidences in the scripture show that God has special care and attention for the need and cry of those that love him and are obedient to his will. Few instances are

1. In Ps 25: 14 RSV, the scripture says: “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant”. This simply means that when we are not determined to love God and keep his commandments, and purposely live in sin, that God is not our friend no matter our claim of him being so, though he remains a loving father he is who condones the  waywardness of his children in love, still waiting for their return.
2. In Ps 145:18-20, the scripture said: “The Lord is near to all who call upon him, to all who call upon him in truth. He fulfills the desires of all who fear him, he also hears their cry and saves them. The Lord preserves all who love him; but all the wicked [those that purposely choose the evil way] he will destroy”.

Note the emphasis, ‘the Lord is near to all who call upon him in truth, he fulfills the desires of all who fear him, he hears their cry and saves them’. This tells us that we must really be connected and committed with God in all seriousness if we are to be his friend. This also means that if we love God with our whole heart, fear him and are obedient to him, his ears and attention will be to us when we are in need and call upon him for help though sometimes the answer may delay according to the Lord’s purpose and will which in the long run is best for us.

1. In Jeremiah 29:13-14 RSV, God said: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you… and I will restore your fortunes…”.

But some may say ‘but why is it that I have been making a petition to the Lord for so long but he seems not to hear; or why has he allowed this calamity or trouble to befall me when I am his child’.

Sometimes the Lord may allow some inconveniences or suffering to his children not because of sin or imperfections but because of his will for the purpose he allows them (a topic for another discussion) even though, some sufferings maybe for discipline and purification in order to make one conform to God’s image as an approved son or daughter.

The above reasons are therefore the reasons why one quality of a good child of God is to surrender to God’s will in all circumstances, having done one’s best to improve one’s situation in the right way. We shall remember what God said in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope”.

The need for this surrender is seen in the life of Christ who is the way for us to follow, who during his passion surrendered to the will of the Father after petitioning him to take his bitter cup of sufferings away. And he said, “nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42) because according to him, his food is to do the will of him who sent him and to accomplish his work (John 4:34). This goes to let us know that when we decide to live in self-will and in disobedience, we resist God, and this puts a wedge in our relationship with him as a friend.

Therefore,  if Christ did not surrender completely to the Father’s will that he would die for us in order to save us, the Father would not have addressed him before hand as ‘My beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased’ (Matthew 4:17). But one thing is sure and clear which is that, if we are determined to be in friendship and in good relationship with God, we shall see the goodness of the Lord; if you surrender, you will see God bringing the best out of that worst situation. After all, he promised us in Isaiah 1:19 RSV saying: “If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword”. The sword is all that the enemy has in his power to deprive us of the good of this life and our eternal inheritance. So let us be God’s real friend and taste the sweetness of his friendship and relationship.

 Conclusion

Genuine relationship will procure us the good the Lord has reserved for us as his children and friends. Though his love and care are for all but he has special eye of love and care for those who fear him; who are his friends.